To Know me is To Love Me

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
Soren Kierkegaard


To know the past, can help us to understand the future. May people don't understand that. The past can be hard to look at, but it's important, because we need to have that understanding in order to have a better tomorrow. Simply put, we tend to seek out individuals who we feel comfortable with in intimate relationships. Consciously, we don't see it, but take a second and think about the interaction that your significant other has told about themselves and their parents. Do you interact in the same way?
A girl I know discussed how the argument between her and her boyfriend would become so intense that they would end their relationship and she would begin the process of leaving, moving out. In an old email she read, she remembered that he told her how her parents would argue: his father would storm out, stating that he wasn't returning, yet would come back after several days. Something she definitely did not want to keep happening every other month.
The interactions we had as children between us and our parents, seem to continue today as adults. The theory is called Adult Attachment. So again, it's important to take a moment and think about our current relationships and what maybe happening that we disagree with or do not like. If you notice a pattern, then maybe, it's time to search for doing something different. But looking into the past may not be such a bad thing. You may find something that worked well, and can work for you. What does this mean? Generally, all the time, we come into a relationship with baggage of some sort, some heavy, long term trip, or some light, overnight. But are you willing to let the other person see it and help carry. Can you help carry that load and deal? This thought for another day.....

For more information, look up books on adult attachment theory, most specifically I like Sue Johnson's Hold Me Tight, or new in publication: Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.