In the past two years, I have traveled more than ever in my life.
I take pride in my ever practicing ability to shove as little (or in reality,
as much) as I can into a carry on. Challenging myself to not have to pay for
baggage fees. I remember as a child, going on road trips, having my suitcase,
and a bag of things for me to do. Homework, summer reading, notebooks, travel
games, music, nonsense. This same practice came with me as an adult. One road
trip my sister looked at me and just didn't understand why I had this extra..
filled to the max, book bag of items that I never even used while there. Here I
was... as an adult.. still doing it, not logically thinking about my ability to
use any of it on my vacation.
When we think of emotional baggage, I imaging the same look of
disappointment on my sister's face as she realized that between me, and a
third sister, she wasn't going to get any lazy, backseat sleep, because of the
lack of room due to our 'extra baggage'. I don't think she wanted to ever go on
another road trip either. Emotional baggage is like that. It can cause
problems, impulsive actions, misconceptions, mistrust, in another person who
may not deserve it. It is a roadblock towards a possible, greater happiness,
for you, and the other person involve.
So a few questions here: how do we recognize them? How do we rid
ourselves of them? And, well... should we accept our significant others when
they come to the Baecation with a few extra totes, handbags and man-purses?
Yea.. I said it..... MAN PURSES..... ya'll know I'm always
including you emotional creatures...
How do we recognize them
Well this is easier than
you think: Self Discovery. What are things that trigger anger, anxiety, stress?
This can.. and will, be another blog. Emotional baggage can be anything that we
experienced from our child hood to our adult relationships. But one thing
remains critical to a solid relationship: Know and Love thyself. By doing these
two things, we can sort through the baggage, and have a more meaningful
relationship. I must say. I was VERY SUCCESSFUL in packing for 5 days to Miami,
including a three day conference, in a carry on, including all the natural hair
care products. Not a book bag in site. What possibly do I need at a beach front
resort other than flip flops, a suit and a good book? Hell... I'll be drinking
too much to even open the book CHUCK!!!!!
How do I unload my baggage safely.
A number of ways. Most importantly, choosing to be happier.
Choosing to deal with whatever hurt or anger that you are carrying around with
you. How important is it to you to keep holding on to it? Will you be that mad
woman who holds on to her dead marriage after her husband kicked her out of the
house, yet Shemar Moore is looking at you with longing eyes and chiseled
abs???? No problem... pass me Mr. Moore's number. Start thinking about how
these negative thoughts and emotions are affecting your current life and
relationship. Have a good conversation about it. There are a number of self
help books, fancy journals, and therapists at your disposal to help you sort
this out, and not spend so much time lugging things around. Or make a decision
to know it, accept it and keep it. As I prided myself on my small luggage, my
cousin went on a weekend trip to Dallas, a conference where she had to make several outfit
changes in a day. This included 10 pairs of shoes. A few of which were connected to one
outfit because she couldn't make a decision what she wanted to wear with it.
Now. The Million dollar question. Should my Jamaican Lover have
to deal with this? Well Stella.. let me stop...I only wrote that line because of
the dude sitting in his car next to me as I write.
Well that's a
matter of choice. I think we can all agree that we wouldn't want to deal
with someone else's miss-trust, insecurities, random bouts of anger. Then why
would we want to impose it on other people. It wouldn't be fair right? It is
always best practice to go into a relationship knowing yourself, and loving
yourself. If you want somebody else to have a love and appreciation for you,
you may want to show off how amazing of a person you are. However, is also
important to know that we are human and imperfect creatures. So in a love and a
bond as strong as you may build it, it just may be able to handle one or two
extra totes and man purses. It is possible folks. There will be someone to love
you with your flaws and all. I mean, they aren't called the real housewives of
whatever city they're in because they're single. Small Jab, sorry, not sorry.
Well loves, this is been another day of life lessons
learned. I encourage you to discover those flaws of yourself; what baggage are
you bringing to the table that you know you gosh darn don't need on a beach in
Tahiti. While you meditate on this, I implore you to take a moment to listen
to the baddest, the queen, the one who spoke on baggage and the women who
carries them, Miss Badoula-Oblongata, Founder of Baduism... Ms. Erykah Badu..
