Lies and Scandal

Sooo Clearly, my post about renewal while great meant nothing as it is about a year and a half since I wrote my last post. So much life has happened since then. But it was ok. That post was a beginning. It a beginning of me finding happiness and doing things that I love. It was me being ok with loving myself.

So onward... with a renewed since of confidence. Such as in the confidence that one needs to have when getting out there and meeting someone new. Yes. Confidence is needed. After almost two years of being single, I'm trying to understand why it's been difficult. I have to finally admit, that I'm doing something wrong. So here are a few things that I have found out about myself.

1) I'm on the road to becoming an Old Cat Lady.
        So I got a little kitty. He has finally gotten out of that stage where I have to explain to people that no, I don't cut myself, I have an adolescent male cat. Aggressive. Adolescent. Male. Cat. He has since calmed down, but, that's not the point of the title.

I Don't Go Anywhere!!!

        I got to the point that I do soo much in my free time that I don't have time to go out somewhere and just be available. So when I do have time, I either melt into my favorite spot on my couch (something else I bought that I absolutely love and cannot live without) and fall asleep to the sounds of what ever tv show that I need to catch up on. If I do go out, I find myself in deep thought, with Bitchy Resting Face, desperately trying to not yawning in people's faces. I don't know about you, but that's not really conducive to meeting new people. I was even invited to a Speed Dating session - something I have always wanted to do for the experience - and I could not go. So I've decided to shed some things from my life. But that will be a blog for another day.

2) I don't put myself out there

I seem to be one of those people that was looking for luv to come to me. Why? I don't know. Lazy. Looking for a miracle. Thinking that one of these days 'He' is just going to be sitting at a coffee shop, not being able to help himself from staring at my gorgeous face as he is trying to dive into some intellectual book. And then he walks over and says something witty that gets my sheepish, flirtatious smile from me.....

Ya'll see the kind of nonsense in my head.....

I know it doesn't work like that but yet my brain insists that it does. Well no more. Ladies you have to get out there. If you feel that twitter or bumble works for you, then go for it. Sadly, I never had such luck (hmmm... another blog posting???) Realize that you are a confident woman and just go do it. practice your flow. I will say, (shamelessly) that I recently volunteered at a convention for men. I didn't flirt so much, just had lots of casual conversations with men young and old. Lack of confidence can be seen like when you clearly rolled out of bed not even putting deodorant on. People will know. I faked it, and apparently it worked.

I've also been reading a book lately 'You Are A Badass' by Jen Sincero. Gosh..this book is really great. She seems to stick it to you about how low in confidence you maybe and how easy (we think) it is to exude confidence.

But Loves, live magically. Live long and prosper! I'll give ya'll more stories and thoughts as I explore this myself.